When he calls, her heart flutters. And it also sinks. He swept her away. Away from many things she dares not think of. And into a whirlpool of other things she dares not mention.
Life has been easier since she stopped talking to him, since it ended. Her walk is lighter, the days are clearer, and happiness erupts lightly from simple moments.
And yet the urge to hear his voice is overbearing, like the need to smoke a cigarette–nagging, nagging, nagging until you finally relent and take a drag. When you are jonesing, virtually nothing can stop you from finding your fix.
It’s the heart sinking part she doesn’t pay attention to, though she should. She pushes it aside and answers anyway, just to feel that feeling one more time. One more hit. Maybe this time it will be different.
I miss you baby. Come back to me, he says. I’ve changed.
You know she’s heard this before. Too many times to count. He says he loves her so much it makes him crazy, makes him do stupid things. Hurtful things. But only because he loves her that much. Only because he can’t live without her.
It’s so foggy here. Let me make it up to you. Give me ONE MORE CHANCE.
The chances could go on forever. She feels herself slipping. Her head gets heavy with her heart, she listens to him talk and feels the arm of their fucked up past pulling her down. He is a sweet talker, her favorite kind. Funny and smoothe and sexy. She is sliding in the gravel of his empty promises.
Her best friend says he doesn’t get to treat you that way. Her sister says he is such a loser, I thought you already moved on, stop talking to him. Her girlfriend says I’m sick of hearing about it.
Why does the heart sometimes gravitate towards this foggy road? Why not take the high road, above the mist?
Have you ever experienced this or watched someone go through it? Let me know in the comments and feel free to share on facebook or twitter.